Comparative Overview of the 5 Adaptive Survival Styles (NARM®)

Survival styles are not diagnoses or fixed personality categories.
They represent intelligent nervous system adaptations to early disruptions in attachment and relational safety.

Each style reflects:

  • A core developmental need
  • A compromised capacity
  • A specific nervous system organization
  • An adaptive identity structure

1- Connection Survival Style

Core need: To feel bonded and connected
Compromised capacity: To remain autonomous within connection

Typical organization:

  • Fear of abandonment
  • Over-adaptation
  • Difficulty being alone
  • Loss of identity outside relationships

Core dilemma:
“If I differentiate, I lose connection.”

Therapeutic movement: Staying connected without abandoning oneself.

2- Attunement Survival Style

Core need: To be seen and recognized in one’s needs
Compromised capacity: To recognize and express personal needs

Typical organization:

  • Difficulty identifying desires
  • Minimizing personal needs
  • Sensitivity to disappointment

Core dilemma:
“My needs are too much or inconvenient.”

Therapeutic movement: Developing the capacity to feel and articulate needs.

3- Trust Survival Style

Core need: To rely on a dependable caregiver
Compromised capacity: To trust without feeling vulnerable or dominated

Typical organization:

  • Rigid self-sufficiency
  • Difficulty asking for help
  • Control or superiority postures

Core dilemma:

“If I depend, I lose power”.

Therapeutic movement: Integrating strength with vulnerability.

4- Autonomy Survival Style

Core need: To assert will and boundaries
Compromised capacity: To express healthy aggression

Typical organization:

  • Difficulty saying no
  • Suppressed anger
  • Compliance or defensive independence

Core dilemma:
“If I assert myself, I lose love.”

Therapeutic movement: Expressing will without breaking connection.

5- Love–Sexuality Survival Style

Core need: To differentiate attachment from sexuality
Compromised capacity: To experience intimacy without confusion or shame

Typical organization:

  • Confusion between love and sexual intensity
  • Seduction as relational strategy
  • Shame linked to desire

Core dilemma:
“Love requires performance or fusion.”

Therapeutic movement: Integrating love, desire, and safety.

A Global Perspective

It is important to remember:

  • Most individuals embody a combination of styles.
  • These adaptations were intelligent and protective.
  • They ensured survival.
  • They become limiting when they rigidify.

In NARM®, the work is not about fixing personality. It is about:

  • Supporting nervous system regulation
  • Clarifying early identity adaptations
  • Restoring choice
  • Strengthening connection to self

Healing does not mean becoming someone else. It means restoring flexibility where adaptation became fixed.