Understanding the NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM®)

The NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM®), developed by Larry Heller, explores how early developmental trauma affects self-regulation, identity, and our capacity for relationship.

In Healing Developmental Trauma, Heller describes how disruptions in early attachment experiences shape the nervous system and the implicit sense of self. When core developmental needs are unmet or inconsistently met, children naturally develop adaptive survival strategies in order to cope. NARM refers to these as adaptive survival styles.

The purpose of NARM is not to eliminate these strategies, but to help individuals increase their capacity for regulation and experience greater freedom from patterns that once ensured survival but may now limit relational and emotional flexibility.

What Is Self-Regulation?

Self-regulation is the ability to move fluidly between states of activation and rest.

It means:

  • When we are tired, we can sleep.

  • When we are angry, we can express and release the activation in healthy ways.

  • When we feel fear, our system can mobilize and then return to safety.

In recent decades, advances in neuroscience and attachment research have shown that both early relational trauma and shock trauma significantly impact the development of emotional and autonomic regulation.

Autonomic and Affective Regulation

Autonomic regulation refers to the nervous system’s ability to regulate bodily functions such as:

  • Heart rate

  • Breathing

  • Blood pressure

  • Sleep

  • Digestion

Affect regulation refers to our capacity to experience, tolerate, and integrate emotions such as joy, fear, sadness, shame, anger, and excitement.

When regulation is compromised, individuals may experience emotional dysregulation, including:

  • Anxiety

  • Panic attacks

  • Hypervigilance

  • Compulsive behaviors

  • Addictive patterns

  • Insomnia

  • Depression

  • Sensitivity to environmental stimuli

Dysregulation often manifests as feeling overwhelmed, numb, stuck, or unable to express emotions.

As Heller emphasizes:

“It is essential for our well-being to be able to manage the intensity of both our negative and positive emotions.”

The Impact of Early Relational Trauma

Early relational trauma does not only influence childhood.
It can shape identity, relational patterns, and nervous system organization throughout adulthood.

NARM provides a framework to understand how these adaptations formed — and how they can be gently reorganized through present-moment relational work.

In the next article, I will explore the five adaptive survival styles in more detail. You may recognize certain traits in yourself — or perhaps in someone close to you.

Karima Reisinger
December 17, 2017 – Revised

Source:
Healing Developmental Trauma
Heller, L., & LaPierre, A. (2012). Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship. North Atlantic Books.